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Lisa Winfeld's avatar

I’m all for the right to choose work & family, focusing on family, or, being single, AND for social safety net to ensure single parents and their children can survive decently so children can thrive.

Gen-X-er here raised by a stay-at-home mom for most of my childhood.

Even as a child, I saw that it was hard for my mom. Four children, one car, father who went out with co-workers while she had no outside space where she could be her own person.

Everyone knows marriages have their ups and downs, but when you’re an isolated, stay-at-home mom while your marriage is on a downward trajectory, it can be awful. No one talks about the head games, anxiety, depression women experience and are expected to keep going, rain or shine without vacation, sick days, or support.

I had school friends who had stay-at-home moms and a couple with abusive fathers. The father’s were often angry, blamed their wife for whatever they could think of. They were never satisfied, even though they had someone to cook, clean, take care of children, etc. It was terrifying to see that and really made an impression on me.

Men like them think the country became messed up because women became independent and went to work. They only blame others and never see how they contributed towards the problems.

My brother, who is very conservative, conveniently forgot seeing these same things, likely because he knew he himself would never get stuck in that situation and so he never bothered to imagine it or empathize.

Women’s independence became a necessity after existing in a world where we lacked rights, or freedom to gain higher education, or ability support ourselves and our family.

Men don’t want to understand this or at least consider that their children are more likely to survive in a society where woman can survive without a man. They fail to realize that in the event of their loss as the only means of a woman’s (and their children’s) survival, that women NOT being able to earn a living safely OR get support as a single mother means their children can starve and are more likely to be vulnerable to harm.

Instead, they elect people who choose to make it harder for single mothers by allowing day care to be unaffordable and social assistance to be difficult and of poor quality.

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Candace Adams's avatar

Wow!!!!! This has to be turned around!!!

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