The Truth About Conversion Therapy
From someone who survived it
On March 31st — just two weeks ago — the Supreme Court ruled that the state of Colorado couldn’t ban conversion therapy for minors. They called it a matter of “free speech.”
But for the nearly 700,000 LGBTQ+ Americans who have gone through conversion therapy, it’s a lot more than an abstract issue about free speech. It’s a trauma they’re still dealing with, even if it happened to them years or decades ago.
One of those 700,000 is Drew Amstutz, Red Wine & Blue’s Chief of Staff and all-around delightful human. On this week’s podcast, he shared some of the horrifying details of being forced through conversion therapy as a 15-year-old kid. You may have seen a short video of Drew we featured last week; this week’s pod is a chance to more deeply explore his experience alongside Katie and LaFonda.
Please be warned if you have trauma around religion or sexual harassment; Drew’s story is hard to hear. But it’s still happening every day to kids across the country, so it’s crucial that we talk about it.
If you’re not immersed in the conservative religious world, you may think that conversion therapy is an archaic practice that doesn’t really happen anymore. Unfortunately, it’s still heartbreakingly common. Only 24 states (and the District of Columbia) have banned conversion therapy for minors, and one of those states was Colorado. It’s still unclear what national effects the ruling will have on the remaining 23 states that ban the practice.
LGBTQ+ youth who go through conversion therapy face a higher suicide risk — not just while they’re experiencing it, but for the rest of their lives. And there is zero evidence that these “therapies” even work! What we know from medical science and from queer people themselves is that there is no “cure” for homosexuality. How could there be? It’s not a disease! We’re talking about a practice that manipulates parents into traumatizing their kids over simply being themselves.
When you hear about a 60-year-old man breaking down a 15-year-old child, including techniques like gaslighting and sexual harassment, it’s hard not to draw connections to other powerful abusers like Epstein. Again and again, we see this country protect the rich and powerful and cast aside women and children.
The episode wasn’t all doom and gloom, though! After discussion Drew’s personal story, we talked about joy in the LGBTQ+ community. When so many powerful forces — from the government to your parents — are telling you that who you are is wrong, fun and community can be lifesaving. LaFonda shared similar insights about Black joy and how it’s necessary for survival… but can also be a stifling trope. Queer and Black people aren’t just the “fun best friend.” They’re main characters too.
This episode is honest and heartbreaking, but it’s also joyful and full of love. Despite the trauma he experienced, Drew is one of the most kind, uplifting, and competent people that all of us here at Red Wine & Blue have ever had the pleasure to meet. We know you’ll love him too. ❤️