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JD Vance Wants You To Have Babies

But don't worry, you get a medal

According to a recent New York Times article, the White House has been assessing ways to “persuade” women to have more babies. Some of their ideas include awarding a “National Medal of Motherhood” to women with six or more children and teaching girls about their menstrual cycle “so they can better understand when they are able to conceive.”

Ah yes, a medal — the main thing that moms need. Not paid family leave, not access to healthcare, not affordable childcare. A medal.

Wait… why does that sound familiar? Was there another country that rewarded women with medals for having lots of kids? Who was that? Oh right, it was Nazi Germany.

JD Vance and Elon Musk (the “bro-natalists,” as Jessica Valenti calls them) have been vocal about their desire to boost the American birthrate. But what they really want is a return to their vision of the “traditional” family, one with straight parents where the woman is submissive and stays at home with as many children as she can produce.

And if that woman needs a medical procedure to end a life-threatening pregnancy? Too bad. If that woman is LGBTQ+ and wants to adopt or use IVF? That’s not part of the vision either. If she needs help feeding her “six or more children”? That’s her problem. And if we want accurate sex education in school? Try again, all girls need to know is when they’re ovulating.

Obviously this is all frustrating and creepy. But for folks who are less politically informed, it could sound like the administration is genuinely trying to help women. So the next time you hear someone talking about how Trump and Vance are “supporting families,” you can point out what policies would actually support the families you know.

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